And He weeps too...

I hesitate to write in the aftermath of Tsunami; what can one say that is worth saying and yet these thoughts have been weighing on me.

"What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then
vanishes" (James 4:14)

This verse has been on my mind for a few days and then as I was preparing for our worship team and reading the text, I read

"People are like grass that dies away; their beauty fades as quickly as the
beauty of wildflowers. The grass withers and the flowers fall away." (I Pet
1:24)

We are so frail. In one earth shattering heave, the ocean waves are unleashed to wipe away thousands of people in moments. And as we look on in disbelief, unable to fathom what we are seeing, our perpective changes.

Things that may have seemed so important yesterday suddenly seem so trivial. I picture one lady's grief over her dead baby that she is holding in her arms and my heart grieves too as I realize just how precious my own children are. Self-importance flies out the window and suddenly we realize we are small, weak and insignificant.

I saw a lecture being advertised to learn how to never say "I can't". And it struck me as so ironic. Postive thinking doesn't change the fact that there are so many things I can't do. I can't fly just because I think I can. And I can't fix the enormous suffering of thousands no matter how much I want to. I can help in small ways. But most of all I can pray. Some people will feel anger towards God because this happened. But without Him this is just a huge tragedy with much unaccounted for. But as I pray, I know that He knows each person missing today; He knows the story of every person in each unmarked grave; He sees every tear drop; He knows each heart ache. And He weeps too.

Here's Paxton. He's not too sure about Santa Claus :-)

I haven't been on the computer much the last few days. Right now it feels painful to type because I've been sanding wood for hours (and staining,etc).

It's Rory's bed that I started in spring. I got so far and then had to leave off until Ladger could give me a hand with cutting the lumber into the right lengths. I tried two different saws but when they didn't work for me, I didn't want to use our circular saw (because it's not a very good one and I'm not comfortable with it). So Ladger was unable to help me out until recently and now I've got lots to do. I finally finished sanding and now all I have left is more staining and varnishing. And then it's on to my next project. The bathroom. I've already picked a new paint color and I can't wait to get started. I'll have to take a before and after picture to share with you.

'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring.....EXCEPT Paxton!

I'm simply amazed at those who sleep with their children in their bed. We tried that last night with Paxton after I held him for quite awhile and he was still not falling asleep. He was clearly tired but toss and turn; toss and turn. Finally when he fell asleep at 2:30 am, I was quick to place him in his own bed as I'd never sleep as long as he was there. And just when I thought I'd get some rest the water softener started up (in a closet in our bedroom) and Ladger thought it sounded funny so he got up with a flashlight to check it out. Nothing unusual so finally he gets back to bed. It's no wonder I slept in a little this morning

This morning I got up and got ready for church and actually made a potato scallop to go with some left over turkey!!! If you know me than you would be impressed as I almost never have dinner in the oven before I head to church. But with my new food processor, those potatoes were in thin slices before I could turn around. I love it, I love it, I love it!!! I wasn't sure about a food processor for years but since I've been making an effort to cook with more veggies, I can see that it will be a real time saver for me. Ladger's a smart guy - getting me the best in kitchen appliances can only mean better meals - so we're all going to benefit from that one - LOL

This morning was church and as there was no Sunday School, there were also not too many families with young children. Ladger and I braved it and fared not too badly. We held off going to the nursery for as long as possible and then finally Ladger went with Paxton and I was left with keeping Rory quiet and settled. I went out with him a couple of times for a 'serious talk' and then back in I went and couldn't help noticing grins from those who had 'been there; done that' somewhere along the way :-)

We had a great Christmas - the boys gave us no trouble at all even though we were at Grandma and Grandpa's just about all day. I've gotta go because those scalloped potatoes are ready and I'm starving! Hope you all had a blessed Christmas!

Christmas Eve

This evening I've been asked to sing El Shaddai (Michael Card and John Thompson)

El Shaddai, El Shaddai (Almighty God)

El Elyon Na Adonai (God in the highest, Lord)

Age to Age you're still the same

By the power of the name

El Shaddai, El Shaddai

Er Kam Ka Na Adonai (I will have compassion on You Lord)

We will praise and lift You high

El Shaddai

Through your love and through the ram

You saved the son of Abraham

Through the power of your hand

You turned the sea into dry land

To the outcast on her knees,

You were the God who really sees

And by your might

You set Your children free

Through the years You made it clear

That the time of Christ was near

Though the people couldn't see

What Messiah ought to be

Though Your Word contained the plan

They just could not understand

Your most awesome work was done

Through the frailty of Your Son

Two phrases stand out to me: "I will have compassion on You Lord "(as one source interprets the phrase Er kam ka na adonai). Are our hearts tender with compassion at the thought of all that God did in coming to this earth as a newborn baby knowing His purpose was to give His life up for us?

"To the outcast on her knees, You were the God who really sees"

I love how God loves the unlovely (which is actually each one of us); He knows us completely and still loves us so much!

If you think of it, pray for me so that I forget about my own insecurities in singing in front of people and be able to worship God wholeheartedly this evening :-)

Merry Christmas to each one of you!

I think this is Ladger's great grandpa (might be his grandpa - I forget :-) Anyhow - I just love this pic and thought I'd pass it on.

This is the combine Ladger and his dad are taking a look at.

I don't normally do much for Christmas baking but one of my voice students gave me a beautiful jar with cookie ingredients and instructions. I let Rory and Paxton help me. Paxton broke an egg on the table and the shell and yolk fell onto the....well it was headed for the floor but landed on his highchair tray which I was thankful was there. Rory calls himself the "dumper man" because he got to dump the scoops of cookie dough on the coookie sheet. I can't wait to try one - they have oatmeal, dried cranberries and white chocolate chips in them.

Ladger is away with his dad to check out a combine in North Dakota - won't be back until late tomorrow. Rory got up looking everywhere for Ladger and when he realized he was gone he sat down on the floor in the kitchen. I sat down with him as he told me he was so sad. How precious to be loved so much!

The Greatest Love

Last night we had an excellent special evening of music - so much variety and very meaningful! I got to play piano for a couple of teens that I work with at school (guitar, piano and voice lessons). I was so proud of them! My boys stayed with Grandma and Grandpa so Ladger and I got to truly enjoy the concert and the cheesecake served afterwards.

I've been having sad feelings over these holidays - burdened with grief for friends mourning the loss of their baby girl; feeling helpless for a family that's been broken up recently and a friend who has been struggling with her health for ten years and can't get a helpful diagnosis and/or treatment. I often wake up in the night, shed tears and fall back asleep praying for these dear people. We seem to get the idea that Christmas should be a time without pain and problems but in fact the wonder of the story of Christmas happens in the midst of tragedy.

The entire human race is lost and has no hope of a relationship with God...so He provides a way. But it means becoming fully human in order to take our place...to bear the punishment we deserve. The Son of God wraps himself in a human body with all the limitations we all have and becomes a son of man. He is born to a couple who have already born the stigma of having a baby outside of marriage; in a time of Roman rule and oppression. And instead of being born at home with all the help from mid-wives and family in a nice warm, cozy home, He was born in a stable among the barn animals - quite possibly a cave - dark, cold and no doubt strong smelling just because it was mandatory to travel to Bethlehem to pay taxes.

An ignoble beginning for the King of all Kings, for the Alpha and Omega (beginning and end). And why was He born in such a place and in such a time? To save you and I. Not from pain and hardship. But from hopelessness and meaninglessness. He came to give us a position (son and heir of God), to give us hope and a purpose. And most of all to restore us to a relationship with our Creator. Christmas shouldn't be a time where we feel miserable because our lives reflect something other than perfection; we can rejoice that in the midst of everything, God loves us so much - the most amazing, undeserved love in all of human experience.

From our house to yours...

A Christmas Prayer

Lord Jesus, help me to move beyond the season's festivities and come to that quiet place...

where I can reflect on what it cost You to leave Heaven's glory for me

Like the shepherds and wise men,

Let me kneel in worship before You and feel the love that was born at Christmas

Reach into my heart.

Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of ... our Saviour Jesus Christ who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us...Titus 2, 13,14

Here's our Christmas village with our Jesse tree in the center.

Here is Rory concentrating on his 'schoolwork' and Paxton looking on.

Yesterday was one of those incredibly busy days - After working at school all day and picking up the boys and making supper, I went out for the evening for our splurge club Christmas party. I had a hard time going after being away from my boys all day. But it was a good evening and today I'm home for the day. I started it off with watching Rory's new Bob the Builder video with him. One part made him laugh so hard - harder than I've ever seen him laugh over a show. His laughing made me laugh

I got up this morning and without even stopping to eat breakfast, made up meatballs for lunch - ambitious, eh? Then I came in here to write and before I got started Rory came running, "Paxton's salting our food!!!" I went out to see that indeed Paxton had been shaking a heap of salt on those lovely meatballs - ugh! Anyhow, I rinsed them off and they're not really worse for the wear. I'm so glad Rory caught our little scamp before more damage was done! Maria has a great site where lately she's been posting heart-warming, beautiful Christmas stories. Go check it out!

Rory's version of Away in a Manger
can be heard
here.

Merry Christmas - here's one from my childhood.
I'm in the peach dress holding my youngest sister.

Last evening, Ladger and I left the boys with his parent for an 'over-nighter' so we could go to a Christmas party and be a little late without disturbing the boys. It was really nice - it's been awhile since I laughed 'til it hurt. And it was a real blessing in a day that needed a bright spot.

Earlier Ladger was not feeling well and so he came back in the afternoon for a bit of a rest. He's been doing a lot of work drying grain that was too wet when we combined it. Some of it had started to mold so it was quite urgent. So just before supper Ladger came in and said, "I guess we're done drying for awhile". I thought that was a good thing until he explained that the wind had blown over our largest conveyor onto another auger putting both out of commission for a good while (maybe for good). Not only that but the roads were sure to be icy (freezing rain) and we weren't sure if we should head out or not.

Sometimes it's hard to get going when everything seems to go wrong but often that's when we get big blessings. We were both so glad we had gone.

This morning was church and it was the first time Paxton went to the 18mos to 3 years old class. I was leading the singing and the craft time this morning and it was neat to see Paxton in there with the older kids. In a few weeks we'll send Rory over to the 4-5 year old class.

It was such a neat surprise to run into this as I was surfing my favorite blogs. You made my day, Zeke. I've never been called an angel before!

A couple of people have mentioned how helpful it is when babies learn communicate through sign language. Paxton has learned how to tell on his brother. If I leave the room and hear a sudden cry from Paxton and go to investigate I ask Paxton what happened. If he hits himself, he's telling me that Rory hit him there (or pushed him). All I can say is, "Look out, Rory!" (Paxton is sitting here giggling at this smiley as I write!)


Paxton can say one word very clearly and consistently: HOT!
This is good....as he insists on helping me cook.

I love Christmas lights, trees and celebration. I love our tree and I have had different people ask how I manage to keep the tree looking good with two very active preschoolers around. Well I don't get uptight about it and they've never found a big reason to bother with it much. Rory helped decorate it and has made a number of ornaments this year to help decorate it. I also let each of the boys pick a new ornament to buy each year (that will be their own collection to take with them when they leave home).
I did see a very odd sight the other day though.
Rory stuck the flyswatter on the tree - not exactly a pretty sight :-)

Truth......Or Not?!!

"You can believe what you want but don't impose your beliefs on me."

"What you believe may be true for you but don't push it on me."

"Tolerance for everyone is the way to peace and harmony and is the hope of mankind."

These are typical phrases that I hear from many people from all walks of life that indicates their philosophy or world view. It is a world view that rejects God as a reality. It also rejects absolute truth. In my college days, much of the intellectual 'elite' in our universities, etc considered faith in God as being irrational and not scientifically provable - I'm sure it's still that way to a large extent. If one does not believe in God, then there really is no reason to think that there is one set of rules for mankind to follow (moral code). All societies and cultures have their own moral code based on what works for them. This is the basis of relativism and pluralism. There is no standard of truth; rather there are many possible realities. There is no way to separate what is right from what is wrong. In fact, right and wrong almost become interchangeable; balance means there is a mix of both good and evil (New Age).

I've got to admit that as much as I try to 'understand' this way of thinking, it still eludes me. I cannot see the logic of believing that two opposite statements of truth can both be equally true.

The question is, "What makes any statement true?"

Without God, I can see that there is no standard of truth that is acceptable for all people, all cultures, all time. So essentially there is no truth if there is no God. There is no right or wrong. Our culture and society prescribe the 'norm' for existing but that is all it can do. The only truth is that there is no truth (oops, speaking of not being logical!!).

This explains why anyone who believes and acts on a universal truth can seem offensive. If I believe murder is wrong because God holds a standard that says all life is valuable and created by Him, then I cannot just overlook murder. I must do everything I can to value life just as God does. When God's standard says that homosexuality is deviant to His design then that must take precedence over the popular view that homosexuality is a valid and healthy lifestyle choice. If I stand for truth, I don't have to impose it on you. It just is....if it really is truth. Truth is beyond us; I can believe or disbelieve it and it doesn't change a thing. Truth is objective and is not defined by us.

Without God, where do we draw a line? What do we accept and what do we not accept? Is murder wrong? Who says so? Maybe it's wrong for you but right for me in my particular circumstance. Do you have the right to judge me and on what basis? Is lying wrong? Maybe it's actually good in a lot of situations. Is stealing wrong? Maybe it's right for me in my circumstance, especially if I'm stealing for a good cause. How do we decide then who is actually guilty of any wrong-doing? How do we decide who is good and worthy? It seems to me that we all have our justifications for the things we do and there are reasons for the way we behave.

Earlier I mentioned that many believe faith in God is irrational. But do not be fooled. If one does not have faith in God than one's faith is placed somewhere else. Is it in science, evolution, mankind, yourself? And the question I ask is "How rational is your faith?" Is it based on truth.....or not?

Paxton isn't talking yet (18 mos). Somedays I feel like I can't wait to hear him speak in his little baby voice. But then I listen to Rory and then I believe I have the patience to wait after all.

Rory has become quite the little 'parent'! He likes to get Paxton from his high chair after meals and I have to hurry to make sure his hands are clean before Rory gets to him. His latest is getting Paxton out of the crib. He did it once and then I watched the next time to see what he was doing. He puts his comforter and pillow on the floor by the crib and then hauls Paxton over the rail onto the comforter. I won't mention the discipline Rory thinks Paxton needs from time to time :-)

Christmas is coming fast! I did some online shoping this year and that's fun for me - I prefer it to shopping at the mall - Anyday!! I guess it makes me feel part of the global scene when I can order tea from Conneticut, lace-making supplies from California, toys from Ontario, etc. ? How do you prefer to shop?