Under an Endless Sky

Here's a quote from "Raising Great Kids":

As caregivers and the source of meeting most of their child's needs, parents must actively be there for attachment needs. Parents need to be attuned and aware of the child's emotional need states...You need to be there to pick up, hold, soothe, and feed when the baby signals a need to you...When mothers are cold and aloof, children often respond with coldness themselves. First they protest, they they go into what is called despair, then into detachment. At this point, to the untrained eye, children may not seem to be any trouble. They are quieter and less fussy. But they are actually in trouble, as they have become cold to the love they need. They have disconnected from life itself...

How scary that authors like Gary Ezzo with "On Becoming Babywise" prescribe exactly that in their book series. The claims that babies will be less fussy and more content when parents use their methods can obviously be deceiving. There are stories of babies who have been diagnosed with "failure to thrive" when parents followed teachings like these. Check here for more info on this issue. And here are some personal stories from that site.



"Raising Great Kids" does not deal with the spanking issue (at least so far) but it definitely advocates treating our children with grace and with truth, love and firmness. I'll probably read this one a few times to dig a little deeper but I do appreciate the focus on helping our children develop character rather than a 'good self-esteem'.

A better way than seeing ourselves as good is seeing ourselves as loved...The self-esteem problem is a false solution to a wrong focus...The answer to the self-esteem problem is this: Give them a combination of grace and truth, and they will feel safe enough to be real. The cure to the problem of self-image, self-concept, and self-esteem is to have enought grace to be who one really is.