Saturday, May 14, 2005

Maybe someday I'll laugh...

All of a sudden in the last couple of days, I've hit a real low spot in my life.

I'm over-tired for one thing. Every day is a scenario something like this. After a long day being on my own with the kids, I go to bed to wait for Ladger to come home. I know if I fall asleep I'll be a real grouch when he wakes me up....but I usually fall asleep because I can't help it. The entrance to our house is right beside the bedroom and so I wake up when he walks on the deck. And then it's the torture of waiting for him to eat a light lunch, wash up and finally crawl into bed. By then I'm wide awake and sleep eludes me. So I usually get up and go try to 'start over' on the couch. But last night I woke up several times in the night because there was a mouse sharing the living room with me. And then Ladger's awake at 5:30 am. Apparently he can function on much less sleep than me. I'm like a walking basketcase.

And then there is my mother-in-law. I feel like our relationship has deteriorated a lot over the last couple of years. At this point I just want to avoid all contact with her. Unfortunately, she and I have to confer every day on meals for the guys and other farm stuff. We live next to each other and have to work together and right now, it's too much for me. I don't want to answer the phone ('cause it's most likely her) and last night I didn't even return a call. And I have no heart left in me to deal with it all.

I know things will likely feel a lot better in a few days but today I'd appreciate any prayers sent my way!

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